Health Care Paranoid Cow Syndrome (HCPCS)

A few weeks ago I went to a private hospital because of a really painful kidney stone. In a symbolic meaning these stones are petrified tears which makes sense to me. Painful emotions that were not or not completely expressed in a pulsatile flow.
But that is not what I want to write about today.

After entering the hospital and showing my insurance card, I was treated like a King, a dying King. I was put on a bed and given painkillers, what a relief, but I could sit in a chair with no problem. Seeing the bill later; lying on the bed for 1 hour, price €130.
Than they started to make X-rays, abdomen and lungs ( for a kidney stone) followed by Cat-scans €135 each and finally a echogram which was the only sensible thing to do for only €35. The whole bill was over €920 just to confirm what I already knew.

I was getting very suspicious, I felt like a cow being milked. There were two urologists coming to my expensive bed telling me that the best options was to take the stone out directly or I could leave it to see what nature would do.
I chose the last.

After a few days I was getting fever and the petrified tears were still blocking the way out. Extreme pains, so I went back to the hospital and asked to schedule a surgery to take the stone out, I needed some help.
It was scheduled for two days later. The morning I went to the hospital I felt that there was a difference, therefore I wanted to talk to the specialist and said that I did not want the surgery, just another echogram to see what has changed.

He agreed and send me to make to make more ten Cat-scans with contrast fluid, €137 each and since they had me planned for a day in the hospital they gave me a roll with ham and cheese and a drink €2500. The specialist ensured me to come back in a month to make more Cat-scans, very important.

From that day, I suffer from Health Care Paranoid Cow Syndrome.
I do not know whether a doctor is really caring about my health and giving me the best options or he or she just sees a fast growing bank account.

This was an expensive lesson, do not trust the doctor if your intuition is telling you otherwise. For the record, I also went to see alternative medicine that normally helps me well but this time did not result.

I understood that the only one to cry my tears is me, no-one else can do that for me. They just take advantage, at least in my allopathic case.

Body Mind (2)

The relation between body and mind is something so sensible that most of the time we do not notice it. When we think of something bad the body responds with tension of certain muscles, on the other hand when we think of something good or pleasant the body reacts with muscle relaxation.

The so called positive thinking is most of the time a stressful attempt to avoid all the negative thoughts that we have, even if we are not aware of them. Therefore this positive thinking will not help you because the body remains tense or will even tense more.

The real positive thinking is realizing that you are in this moment. When you read this, that is all there is, you and this text.

Because you took the time to sit down and read, it means that the past is not hunting you at this moment, nor is the future.
So relax your shoulders, belly feet, legs, eyes, neck and all you do is read calmly every word and breath in slowly knowing that all energy is coming your way, entering your system. When you breath out, feel the chair under your buttocks and let all body tension run out of your pores. You are here.

Your mind becomes so much more empty, silent and receptive for the miracle of life, the miracle of your Being. You can experience that you are the center of your world and everything is okay at this moment.

Body – Mind connection means being present in this moment.

Of course you have to prepare things for tomorrow and deal with other things that you did yesterday but do not bring your presence there into the future or past. Be here. Be Body Mind.

Sleep tight with a deep sigh and wake up fresh inhaling deeply.

XXX

Who am I & who are You ???

The majority of our western population spend their time in pretending to be someone that they are not. Driven by the need for being accepted as a useful member of our society they are willing to sacrifice all that is genuine, all that has true value. From very young, the children are stacked away in crèches while the older people are kept safely in nursing homes. In the meantime the adult generation steps into the daily rat race of keeping up appearances.
Earning a living as we call it.

But what is living if it takes away all that is really precious, our Essence.

In trying to construct an identity that society values, we do not hesitate to destruct the only real identity that we have.
Isn’t that crazy?

If you suspect that you might be in that illusionary rat race, it is about time to ask yourself.

??? Who am I ???
and next to that, look at your partner, chef, children, parents, friends and whoever falls into your life and ask
??? Who are You ???

This is the only way to end the spiral of craziness that we are in altogether. False identities corrupt, hurt, cause violence, hatred and immense suffering. Earth and Life should be paradise but we turn it into hell and nobody really knows why……..

Family matters and the Alpha principal

Of course family matters, they are important because they are our tribe in life. We were born there, we grew up looking each other in the eyes and knowing each other better then anyone else does.
The family has an identity, norms, rules and values that are specific for that family. Part of that identity is inherited from one generation to the other, another part is imposed through the alpha principal.
The most dominant family member colors the identity, often one of the parents and sometimes the children.
The adolescent age serves to consciously define your own identity and here many things go wrong. People either reject completely the family values and end up naked or they live in symbiosis and do not know how to define themselves. A life long struggle with the family is born. If this happens the best way to act is take a distance from the family and start to investigate your values, distinguish who you are, what remains. Don't wait for your family to resolve this because that will never happen. The struggle will go on until you resolve it within yourself and this includes accepting the others just the way they are.

A confusing process, indeed.

But it is difficult to clean your shoes while you remain standing in the mud.
Therapy can be of enormous help to redefine your identity. From there you may start to contact the family again but with a different attitude, a different Self awareness but still the same person-

become your own alpha.

The value of Catharsis

Catharsis means, the cleansing of pent up emotions. Normally it is a intense release of anger, jealousy, sadness or fear with a lot of screaming, breathing and movement. 
In the sixties and seventies catharsis was very important in somatic therapies, it was like a crown on the work. But is it??
No, it is not. It is not the final objective of therapy, not at all.
It may be a door to integration but that depends on many things.
The most important thing is that the client is ready for the cathartic experience, if that is so, it will come as a natural flowing expression from the client.
When catharsis is provoked by pressure of the therapist or the group it seems to be something intense and the client will maybe feel released for a little while and then it will disappear because he or she was not ready. Waste of energy and often re-traumatizing the client.
The important part of the catharsis is the aftermath, the silence where the dust settles down. This silence is different from meditation where we focus on centering.
If the catharsis was true then it opens a door and here we can make the first step into the unknown. The unconscious where the repressed emotions waited for maybe a lifetime to be revealed.
Here many insight can pop up, you can integrate and you do not feel the need to express the same emotion over and over again.
But like I said, many cathartic explosions are only showing off, most of the time unconsciously but not always, so be aware.
If you can focus during the catharsis and there is a deep silence afterwards where you can start to explore you emotional cellar. 
Well, so good for you.